Every two weeks on Saturday is Date Day #
My wife and I take turns planning of these days. I’m not sure how it started (it was probably her idea) but we’ve been doing it for few years now. It’s a low-stakes, open opportunity to spend time together, but it’s sacred.
Why not a date night? #
We do those too, but they aren’t scheduled as regularly as these are. Date nights mean dressing up, buying dinner, going to a show, all things that we love to do. The advantages of planning the activities during the day:
- Daytime is when we each tend to have the most energy
- There are more outdoor events or destination opportunities during the day
- Lunch is cheaper than dinner
- Many nighttime activities tend to involve alcohol and neither of us drink
- It keeps the stakes lower; We’re able to simply spend the time together doing something that the other person planned
Taking turns #
Taking ownership of a day every couple of weeks really is as simple as it sounds. It’s a great way to find something that you know the other person might enjoy doing, but it’s also a chance to say, “Here is something that is interesting for me, and it would mean a lot if we could share that experience together”. Of course, I’d never drag her to something that would make her miserable, like a day-long metal festival or 27 holes of gruelling disc golf. But maybe I’d see that there was an art exhibit that I was into, and I’d love to share the experience of it with her.
Much of the time, though, we do something simple: beach walks at Asilomar, coffee and croissants at a delicious bakery that one of us wants to try, etc.
Some other tips: #
- Be flexible: Be open to new experiences, and have a backup plan in case your original idea doesn’t work out.
- Listen: If your partner has recently expressed interest in something - like a restaurant they want to try, a trail they want to hike - show that you’ve heard them and surprising them by making that your date day destination!
Be Together #
Most of all, be present. This is meant to be time spent immersed in an experience with them. I often leave my phone at home or in the car while we’re together to maximize my attention to her. That’s probably why I don’t have a whole lot of photos from our date days. We’re not doing it for the gram, we’re doing it for one another.